women lie too

Do you remember that joke about the percentage of guys who masturbate? Ninety-nine percent masturbate and one percent lies that they don't?

I have no statistics on how many women have, at some point, suffered from some form of a body-image issue, but I am going to guess the percentages may be similar. The split isn’t. I’d guess 10 percent have body-image issues, 80 percent lies about it. The ones who have these issues will tell you upfront, "No pizza for me, I’m trying to lose 56 pounds."

The 80 percent will order pizza, smile hard and then try even harder not to think about the gym first thing in the morning.

The remaining 10 percent are women who have miraculously never in their lives uttered the words, "Do you think these jeans make me look fat?" (If you are one or know of one, please email me: mailto:editors@ohmagazine.ca)

By some form of a body-image issue I mean dieting. Being a vegetarian. Becoming allergic to cheese in late teens. Avoiding carbs. Becoming bulimic and anorexic, too, but these are your traditional eating disorders, others are often considered nutritional adjustments.

It’s the lying that is the most disturbing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’m sure it was your naturopath or your love of grain that made you cross out food groups from the chart on your plate. It was a palm reader or a Chinese medicine specialist who told you that you should live on salad alone. You’re an animal-rights activist and meat is murder. You were getting pimples all over your forehead – you just had to stop eating bread.

No, of course not, it has nothing to do with the fact that you think you may be too fat.

Then there are the noble athletic pursuits. Many are considered good for you, such as frequent marathon runs. I have friends who run marathons. They love getting ready for them. They love the challenge. I don’t think their stuff is about body image, necessarily. Genuine athletic pursuits are great.

But I do know of women who run even when they’re blind with pain, who puke after overexerting themselves on the treadmill, who swim 250 laps between classes. Women who stick fingers down their throat after lunch and run 40 flights of stairs. They, too, claim to love physical activity.

I would venture to say that any physical activity that is continuous and manic is a form of an exercise bulimia. By this I mean more than six hours at the gym doing intensive cardio or obsessive weight training. I think you are seriously worried about your body if you are there for more than six hours. Unless you are an Olympic athlete or a fitness professional and truly enjoy going to the gym and stretching – and by truly I mean as truly as you enjoy eating chocolate cake – then I think you’re at the gym because worried about your weight.

Everyone knows the argument about influence of media, etc. on our body image and tragic outcomes of too much dieting, exercising and such. Everyone knows skinny is a big, fat problem. I'd say we fight it by being honest about it to ourselves first. Let me start: my body image is completely warped. I haven't eaten a chocolate cake without having to think about out in years. Some days I think I'm too fat.